Thanksgiving can be a joyful time for families, but for parents of children with autism, the holiday season can also be filled with challenges. From changes in routine to sensory overload from loud conversations, new foods, and unfamiliar settings, Thanksgiving can be a lot for kids with autism to process. But with thoughtful planning and preparation, families can make the holiday more enjoyable and less stressful for everyone involved.
If you’re a parent of a child with autism between the ages of 1.5 and 10, here are some specific Thanksgiving tips to help make the day go more smoothly.
# 1. Prepare for Changes in Routine
For many children with autism, predictability and structure are key to feeling secure. Thanksgiving often involves changes in routine, such as a later dinner time, travel to a relative’s house, or unexpected guests. These changes can be stressful, but there are ways to help your child cope.
Tips:
– Visual schedules: Create a simple visual schedule or timeline of the day. This can include things like what time you’ll leave for Grandma’s house, when dinner will be served, and when it’s time to play. Pictures or symbols can help your child understand what to expect.
– Talk through the changes: In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, discuss the changes in your family’s routine with your child. Use clear, concise language and visual supports if needed. For example, “Tomorrow, we are going to Grandma’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. We will leave at 3:00 PM, and dinner will be at 5:00 PM.”
# 2. Consider Sensory Overload
Thanksgiving gatherings can be sensory-rich environments. The sights, sounds, smells, and textures of the holiday can be overwhelming for kids with autism. The bustling atmosphere, strong food odors, and loud conversations may cause discomfort. However, there are ways to reduce sensory overload and create a more manageable environment.
Tips:
– Bring familiar items: Bringing familiar items from home—like your child’s favorite toy, tablet, or comfort object—can provide reassurance and help your child self-regulate in a new setting.
– Minimize loud environments: If possible, try to schedule Thanksgiving dinner when your child is likely to feel calm and not overstimulated. If you’re hosting, consider hosting the meal earlier in the day when it’s less likely to be crowded and loud. If you’re going to a relative’s house, try to minimize the number of people or find a quieter room to eat in.
# 3. Prepare for New Foods
One of the major traditions of Thanksgiving is the food. However, for children with autism, the texture, smell, or appearance of certain foods can be off-putting. It’s common for kids with autism to have strong preferences about what they will or won’t eat.
Tips:
– Bring your child’s favorite foods: If your child is a picky eater or has strong food preferences, bring some of their favorite foods along. This can help them feel more comfortable and avoid meltdowns around the dinner table.
– Introduce new foods slowly: If you want to introduce some Thanksgiving foods to your child, try offering small portions of unfamiliar foods alongside things they already enjoy. The goal isn’t to pressure them to eat everything, but to offer new foods in a low-stress way.
# 4. Set Expectations for Socializing
Socializing during Thanksgiving can be challenging, especially if there are a lot of unfamiliar faces or if your child has difficulty with eye contact or social communication. It’s helpful to set clear expectations for social interactions so your child feels prepared.
Tips:
– Role-playing: If you’re going to a family gathering, practice simple social interactions before the event. Role-play common greetings like “Hello,” “Thank you,” or “How are you?” Practice taking turns in conversation and using polite phrases, so your child feels more confident and prepared.
– Set expectations with extended family: It’s important to communicate with extended family members and let them know about your child’s specific needs. For example, explain that your child may not want to hug or make eye contact, or that they may need a break from the noise. Setting these expectations in advance can help family members be more understanding and accommodating.
# 5. Focus on The Good
Thanksgiving can bring a lot of pressure to make everything perfect—beautiful food, great conversation, and picture-perfect moments. However, for children with autism, these expectations can create anxiety. The most important thing is to focus on making the day enjoyable for your child, even if things don’t go exactly as planned.
Tips:
– Find moments of calm: Take time to enjoy moments that are low-key and comfortable for your child. For example, you could watch a favorite movie together, play a quiet game, or go for a walk outside after the meal.
– Be flexible: Sometimes, Thanksgiving plans need to be adjusted on the fly. If something isn’t working, it’s okay to change direction—whether that means taking a break, eating in a different room, or leaving early. The goal is to help your child feel safe and comfortable.
Click here for Fall Printables for calm, fun things to distract your kiddo!
# 6. Practice Gratitude in a Way That Works for Your Child
The spirit of Thanksgiving is about gratitude, but for many children with autism, expressing gratitude may not come naturally. It’s important to keep your expectations realistic and allow your child to express gratitude in their own way.
Tips:
– Use visual aids: If your child struggles with verbal communication, consider using visual aids, such as a “thank you” card or a picture of something they’re grateful for. If your child is able to verbally express thanks, help them practice a simple phrase like “Thank you for dinner.” (Click here for visual aid examples)
– Encourage non-verbal expressions of gratitude: Sometimes, children with autism express gratitude through non-verbal means, like offering a hug, drawing a picture, or even sharing a favorite toy.
# 7. Be Kind to Yourself and Your Child
Finally, remember that it’s okay to not have everything perfectly planned. Thanksgiving can be a big task, but it’s also an opportunity to create cherished memories with your child and family. If things don’t go as expected, be kind to yourself. Parenting a child with autism takes a lot of energy and effort, and you’re doing your best.
Tips:
– Prioritize self-care: Be sure to take care of yourself during the holiday season. Whether it’s taking a quiet moment for yourself, asking for help from family members, or simply taking a few deep breaths, self-care is essential for managing the stress of the holiday.
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Having specific troubles with holiday changes? We are here to help! Ask about our parent resources and what we can do to help your family today.
Click here for further information about how routines can affect young children with autism, presented by the National Autistic Society.
